Annie McLue

Annie McLue, Annie McLue.
She simply would not flush the loo
Her parents didn't know what to do
The girl refused to flush the loo

She disregarded and ignored
A note they hung upon the door
It was her main domestic goal
To leave a growler in the bowl

And shout as loud as loud can be
'That great big thing was done by me!'
And there the dreadful thing would stay
Sometimes, for up to half a day.

Until her Mother home from work
Would go to where the thing would lurk
In rubber gauntlets and a mask
To undertake the awful task

With steely nerve and mission clear
To flush until it disappeared
To prod and flush with all her power
Sometimes for up to half an hour

Then came the day the fateful day
When Aunty Morag came to stay
She had a dog-named Dragon-fly
And always made poor Mummy cry

And halfway through a lovely tea
Said 'May I please use you lavatory
Last time I came I was discreet
But had to clean the dirty seat'

I know the hygiene here is bad
So keep detergent in my bag

It's a shiny fresh thing
It's a piny fresh thing
It makes the bees buzz
And it makes the birds sing

It reminds me of mountains
And wide open spaces
Where children are jockeys
In crocodile races

And with that to the loo she went
With Dragonfly and foul intent

No sooner had she shut the door
Then there came forth a dreadful roar
A high-pitched yelping and a cry
Of what they thought was "Why oh why?"

"Oh Annie no!" her Mummy said
"You'd flushed the loo that's what you said".
Annie said, "I thought I had"
But by this time the signs were bad

First Dragon Fly then close behind
Aunt Morag staggered as if blind
Out of the door into the street
Onto a bus in quick retreat

Her words rang out for all to hear
"Oh please, please get me out of here
The smell, the smell that dreadful pong
So wrong, so strong so, so, so wrong!"

Well, Annie felt she'd caused a howler
Leaving such a lurking growler
Such a stinker in the loo
She knew not what to say or do

But strangely did she quickly find
Her parents did not seem to mind
'Oh well said Annie she'll be fine
Now which nice piece of cake was mine?'

Annie McLue Annie McLue
Simply would not flush the loo

To her aid they had to call the fire brigade

Annie McLue

Annie McLue, Annie McLue. She simply would not flush the loo Her parents didn't know what to do The girl refused to flush the loo

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Don't put your cat in a tumble dryer

Don't put your cat in a tumble dryer Don't do a thing like that Don't put your cat in the tumble dryer Even if you think it's a fluffy, fluffy hat

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If I were a polar bear

If I were a polar bear I'd move to Western-super-Mare

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William Blue

I'll tell you the story of William Blue Fell in a vat of the stickiest glue The officer said it was someone he knew Very strange brother had William Blue

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